Believe it or not, your college student still needs you!
When they were high-schoolers, you reminded them of tests, chided them about their homework, or drove them to games and work. Maybe you cleaned their room. Lucky them!
But the way they needed you then, and the way they need you now is different. Through trial and error, they’ll adjust to the new demands. But how can you help them adjust to other areas of college life that aren’t so cut and dry? Missing home? Time-management? Making friends? Rather than taking the reins as you might have in the past, your role can be more of a guide offering suggestions and support.
They’ll Miss Home
“If you're homesick, you're not alone. While it's hard at first, it does get easier. It will be okay. You just need to be patient,” Ryen Hagg, a senior Chemistry and Math major at Kean University, explains. Telling them to come home for the weekend is what you want to do, but telling them to wait it out is better for them. Patience is one of the most valuable skills you can model.
Making New Friends
Encouraging your child to reach out to new people instead of waiting to get asked to join in could potentially benefit them their entire lives. Luckily, a college campus has built-in ways to meet new people. Ryen remembers the first "Kean Day" she attended; Clubs lined up tables along Cougar Walk, the main thoroughfare on campus, “offering a great chance to meet people and make long-lasting friendships,” she says.
Time-Management
Think of a typical high-school day - back-to-back classes, after-school activities, dinner, homework, screen time, bed. They got lots of things done. But in college, students will find they have unstructured time to fill - sometimes hours between classes. A way to support them with this change is to suggest they make a list of weekly activities, then plug them into their calendar app the same way they do their classes.
A Different Relationship with Teachers
Because of smaller class sizes in high school, teachers were much more likely to ‘get after’ a student who was falling behind. That doesn't happen at college. Ryen makes sure she develops a relationship with her professors and visits them during their office hours. Professors very often become mentors and serve as references for internships and jobs.
Maintaining Health and Wellness
“As a student, sometimes you get so busy you forget to allow yourself a break -- I know I've done that! There are many clubs and organizations offered at Kean, such as yoga and hiking, that can give you a mental break. Taking care of yourself first will help you to grow and succeed in the other areas of your life,” Ryen says.
Built-In Campus Support Services
Remember that college campuses’ like Kean University offer numerous resources to support your child. Whether they need counseling to assist with their transition, tutoring to maintain a healthy grade point average, or health services to treat minor illnesses - they’re never alone. One example is Kean’s Center for Advising, Persistence and Success (CAPS), an entire division devoted to student success. Help them stay healthy and well-adjusted by suggesting they look into all of the resources available.
So what’s the most important thing your child needs you to do? Just believe in them. Your confidence in their ability to make it on their own, coupled with enthusiastic support when they tackle challenges head-on, is the best way to help them succeed.
